This sample paper includes my comments in italics within the paper and the grade at the bottom. I give this to you here on your website so you can see some of the dangers for a student who has taken even a small wrong turn at the start of your paper. This paper, however, doesn't get much stronger as it goes on.

   The poems, "Watching You," by David B. Axelrod, and "Beautiful Dreamer," by Stephen Foster are similar because both teach how love should be and how to love=I hope you focus on one specific lesson. This is a vague start.  Love can be shown in a variety of ways. =If you stick with this approach you will compare subject matter not a specific theme.  "Beautiful Dreamer," by Stephen Foster presents the writers’ love for the person dreaming, his lover, by wanting all of her anguish and pain to disappear.  The speaker wants her to wake up, so that she may bring joy to his life and him joy to her life.  The speaker loves this woman and wants nothing more for her to be protected by his presents and the moonlight.  He also wants her to feel loved.  In "Beautiful Dreamer," the speaker wants his lover to wake up so he can love her and feel love back.  "Watching You," by David B. Axelrod, presents the speaker watching over his sleeping lover.  He is protecting and loving her everlasting "dreams and sighs."  He watches her and loves the way his lover breathes, lays, and moves.  The speaker is content in watching his lover, admiring her body.  =The plot summary seems accurate? What is the lesson we learn?

            Within "Watching You," the speaker watches and listens to every move and sigh his lover makes.  "…your restless breathes your high-boned face….."  The speaker loves and appreciates every bend, curve, and pore of his lover’s body.  "…a soft, strong neck, supple shoulders, the outline of small breast." =You are using quotes to retell the plot not explore a theme.  The speaker loves the sight of his naked lover.  He loves being able to pine over every inch of his lover’s body.  The different images the speakers views, shows the reader how much love he possess for his lover.  "…the thick, curled knot of jet black hair tied up…" From head to toe the speaker is in awe of his sleeping beauty.  The speaker is content watching his lover’s every move.  The feeling, the speaker, proposes within the poem, is love.=subject matter, plot, NOT THEMATIC analysis. What you summarize is correct but not what the assignment asked of you.

            Wanting to spend every waking moment, with a specific person, is also love.  Wanting that person to wake up and see only one face, one love, is what "Beautiful Dreamer" is presenting.  "Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me."  The need for the speaker’s lover to wake up is a beautiful way for the speaker to present to his audience his love for his sleeping beauty.  The speaker wants his lover to wake up so that he may feel the connection they have between each other, love.  "Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart."  The sight and look of the speaker’s lover makes his heart beat.  The presence of his lover makes his heart soar.  "Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee."  This line is a metaphor for the speakers love and kindness.  He is waiting for his lover to wake up, so that he can share his love with her.  "Queen of my song."  "Queen" is a position of hierarchy.  The speaker holds his lover in the utmost position in his life by saying "Queen."  "..of my song" is a metaphor for the speaker’s heart.  Therefore, the speaker presents his lover as the queen of his heart. =Same problem here. You use a string of quotes to retell what the poem is about. No analysis of a lesson/theme to show similarity with the other poem.

            Both speakers, in both poems, want to protect their lovers.  Both speakers want their lovers to feel protected while sleeping.  "I spent till sunrise watching you, protector of your dreams and sighs."  In "Watching You," the speaker is in love with a woman and wants nothing more but to watch his lover and protect her.  He sleeplessly watches her every move, making sure she is peaceful.  "Beautiful Dreamer" presents the speaker hoping that the night’s rest has taken away all of the pain his lover is feeling.  "Sounds of the rude world heard in the day, Lull’d by the moonlight have all pass’d away."  The speaker wants his lover to believe that all her sorrow and pain, she has encountered, during that day, have faded into the night.  The moonlight and the speaker’s presence have protected his lover from any anguish.  Protecting a lover is part of loving someone. =Suppose you said "both poems teach us that to love someone we must protect them?" That would be identifying a lesson and you would have a theme to compare? You don’t do this so you are condemning the paper to a lower level of proficiency.

            When two people are in love with each other, trust is an important part of the relationship. =Here’s a potential theme but you haven’t developed it above… When a person falls asleep with another person watching them sleep, there must be an enormous amount of trust for both people.  In both poems, both speakers, are watching their sleeping lovers; watching them dream.  "…eyes flickering in half surprise."  The woman, in "Watching You", does not flinch when she looks at the man watching her as she sleeps.  She trusts him with her sleeping body and feels loved with his presence.  The line, "beautiful dreamer," presents the lover sleeping and dreaming.  When a person dreams they are at their most vulnerable point.  The lover must have trust in the speaker because she has fallen asleep, with him watching her.  In order to have true love for someone, you must have trust in them.=If only this were the theme from the start you’d have a potential for a higher grade. As it is, at least you give me something to work with to save you from a low grade!

            We have looked at two different poets images of love.  Being in awe of a lover, wanting to be with them at every moment, protection, and trust, is all part of being in love with someone.  Both poems teach how to love and how love should be. =…meaning you wander through the plot to say we have two poems ABOUT love.  The kindness and sensuality of "Watching You," by David B. Axelrod, and "Beautiful Dreamer," by Stephen Foster show love.  Both poems show love differently=don’t subvert your purpose to show similarity!  and in more than one way.  Being content in watching a lover, only feeling your own heart and wanting a lover to wake up, so that you can feel the love, are different types of love but nonetheless, love.      =weak way to end a paper on similarity. You pretty much confirm the subject matter is similar though you take away from even that.

The best this can get--and it is stretching the grade to offer the student some hope of a higher final grade--is a C+/B-. That means the student  did not get a "B" but this split grade leaves open the chance for a final term grade of "B" if everything else was very strong. Remember, please, that your course guidelines state that if you don't get a "B" on the mid-term poetry paper, you can't get a "B" or better in the class. A lot is riding on the poetry paper. Do a strong thematic comparison to assure you get a high grade.

Stephen Foster 
Beautiful Dreamer
Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me, 
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
List while I woo thee with soft melody;
Gone are the cares of life's busy throng.

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,
Mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelie;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart, 
E'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!